Defying Gravity

Two weekends ago, I was working at the office attending to interviews of applicants. Louie was there with me. Then it happens. My secretary walks in and tell me some person named David is on the phone asking if I'm here.

On the way to the phone, I pretty much knew it was the ex-boyfriend. The one I left for Louie.

So it's okay. Pleasant conversation. Everyone's married with kids so it's all good. I'm a little shell-shocked by the sudden re-entry of a former flame, but what the hell, you deal with the cards given to you.

A day later, Dave's texting me the ages of his kids. Louie picks up something about their ages and the math. But he doesn't say anything. I've never been good at math, so it takes me a while to figure something out. Then it hit me like a bucket of rocks.

There's an 11-year old kid.

We parted ways in 1996. He left for Hawaii in 1995.

I'd been had.

Naturally, I spoke to ex-boyfriend. Why give me this kind of news? He certainly wasn't obligated to tell me. "To cleanse my soul and to make you feel better about leaving me..." I was like, "What the f*ck?"

I've vented out to quite a few friends, who all think it's a good laugh. I do too in a way. After I stop laughing at how this happened some ten years, I get mad thinking about how I was such a fool back then. I get mad that he had the nerve to get mad at me for leaving, knowing fully well, he deserved what he got. I got mad that now, a perfect good memory of a past relationship has been transformed into a something I don't even want to think about.

It's fucking annoying. You know how you'd hear a song and have a memory associated with it that's nice and pleasant? Now I hear a 90s love song and want to go kill someone with a hatchet.

Then I get a text message about our last conversation on soul mates. And I'm even irked, old exie wants to talk back to that time. It may be 10 years ago buddy, but I'm still pissed off at having found out a week ago. I believe I'm entitled to be mad for a while. I may have been a bitch for leaving, but he's an even bigger a**hole for letting me believe he was Mr. Goody-two-shoes.

Anyway, what's done is done. I'm just utterly thankful that Louie has been so utterly amazing, listening to me vent and yak about the past.